HELP SOMEONE WHO MAY BE DEPRESSED

Why do people get depressed?

Sometimes people get seriously depressed after something like a divorce in the family, major financial problems, someone you love dying, a messed up home life, or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Other times, depression just happens.

Often teenagers react to the pain of depression by getting into trouble:

• Trouble with alcohol, drugs, or sex;
• Trouble with school or bad grades;
• Problems with family or friends.

... It’s important to get help for depression before it leads to other trouble.

• There's help out there and you CAN ask for help! And if you know someone who you think is depressed, YOU CAN HELP.
• Listen and encourage your friend to ask a parent or a responsible adult about treatment.
• If you friend doesn't ask for help soon, talk to an adult you trust and respect ... especially if your friend mentions suicide.

Help Someone Who May Be Suicidal

Suicide is always a scary topic … it can be even scarier when someone you know and care about may be feeling so hopeless that he or she is considering ending his or her life. Here are some steps you can take to help support a friend or family member who may be suicidal - 
 

... Take It Seriously

MYTH: A lot of people think that people who talk about suicide don’t really mean it, and that they are just looking for sympathy or attention.

• FACT: The truth is that over 75% of those who have completed suicide have indicated to others that they were in deep despair.

Anyone who expresses suicidal feelings needs to be taken seriously, and given immediate attention.

MYTH: Another commonly believed myth is that people who are suicidal are also psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality.

• FACT: Really, only about 10% of all suicidal people suffer from these types of disorders.

A lot of suicidal people are also depressed, even though they may do a surprising job of going through their days as if nothing’s wrong. Even if someone seems fine, if you get any indication that suicide may be a risk, follow up on it. 
 

... Remember that Suicidal Behaviour is a Cry for Help.

• In many instances, suicidal behaviour represents a struggle between life and death … but ultimately, the struggle represents a wish to end the pain that an individual is feeling.
• The fact that a suicidal person is still alive is evidence of the part of him or her that is struggling to choose life.
• By trying to connect people to those things that KEEP him or her choosing life instead of death, you might be able to help pull them back from a seemingly hopeless situation.

... Give and Get Help

Suicide prevention is not a last-minute activity ... it needs to be addressed sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, many suicidal people feel that asking for help might lead to more pain if others do not take their clues seriously.

• They might fear being told that they are stupid, sinful or manipulative.
• They might fear rejection or punishment.
• They might fear involuntary commitment to a psychiatric institution, or they might fear that their confidentiality will be breached.

But you need to do everything you can to reduce pain rather than increasing or prolonging it.

... DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET! ...

Tell an adult that you trust – a parent, older sibling, teacher, or school counsellor – so that you can get help in order to give it. 
 

... LISTEN

• Allow every opportunity for the suicidal person to unburden his or her troubles and vent feelings.
• Be patient, empathetic, and accepting.
• Avoid arguments or advice-giving.

... ASK

• Asking people if they are suicidal will NOT plant the idea in their heads, contrary to what some people might think.
• If they aren’t suicidal, they’ll tell you …
• and if they have been thinking about it, you will show your concern and your willingness to talk about something that is very difficult to discuss and that is still “taboo” to a lot of people.
• Asking the question is an invitation to let someone else share his or her thoughts and feelings about suicide with you.
• Other important questions to ask are if the suicidal person has a plan and a timeframe for when he or she might go through with these feelings. Get as many details as you can.

The more advanced the plan or timeframe is, the higher at risk

the person likely is for going through with it.

... Don’t Leave an Acutely Suicidal Person Alone

If the means to suicide (i.e., pills) are nearby, try to get rid of them or at least get them out of immediate reach of the suicidal person.
 

... Urge Professional Help

Persistence and patience may be necessary. In any referral situation, let the person know you care and still want to maintain contact.
 

... Don’t Promise to Keep Secrets

• The part of a person that is afraid of more pain is the part that says, “Please don’t tell anyone” ...
• ... but it’s the part that wants to stay alive that tells you about the suicidal thoughts in the first place!
• Respond to that part of the person, and seek out a mature and compassionate person with whom you can talk about the situation. Don’t try to do this alone – it’s important to take care of yourself as well!
• If your friend doesn't ask for help soon, talk to an adult you trust and respect, especially if your friend mentions suicide.

Your friend's LIFE is more important than keeping a secret!

... Suicidal Behaviour

• Previous suicide attempts
• Explicit statements of suicidal thoughts or feelings
• Development of suicidal plan, acquiring the means, “rehearsal” behaviour, setting a time and/or place for the attempt
• Self-inflicted injuries, such as cuts, burns, or head banging
• Reckless behaviour
• Making out a will or "clean house" by giving away favourite possessions, cleaning their rooms or throwing things away
• Inappropriately saying goodbye to friends and loved ones, sometimes contacting people they haven't seen for a while
• Ambiguous or indirect verbal behaviour implying suicide -
  • “I'm going away on a real long trip”;
  • “You won't have to worry about me anymore”;
  • “I just want to go to sleep and never wake up”;
  • “I'm so depressed, I just can't go on”;
  • “Does God punish suicides?”;
  • “Voices are telling me to do bad things”;
  • Requests for euthanasia information, inappropriate joking, stories or essays on morbid themes.
• After a period of depression, they may also become suddenly cheerful because they think that by deciding to end their lives they have "found the solution".

Above Exerpt from http://YOUTHONE.COM
 

Tell a trusted adult such as parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, and/or counsellors.

Call a crisis line in your region ...

Go to Helplines

Call 911 if you know the person is in immediate danger.

• There's help out there and you CAN ask for help! And if you know someone who you think is depressed, YOU CAN HELP.
• Listen and encourage your friend to ask a parent or a responsible adult about treatment.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!